shame is so in this season

pre quarter life crisis crisis

how am i going to make a difference in this world?

posted by erica @ 5:28 PM 2 comments

at least it's not tom cruise

britney spears is on dateline tonight... she laughs. she cries. well maybe she doesn't laugh so much as cry. she wears an inappropriately short skirt and sits 6 inches away from poor matt lauer (maintain eye contact! do not look down at the tainted crotch!). and i'm pretty sure she did her hair and makeup herself. in the car. with her baby on her lap.

you should watch it. keep an ear out for all sympathy evoking "y'alls" and her signature overacted sad faces complete with the pouty lower lip (yes, i watched crossroads - not one of my finer moments in life). also take "note" of the "blatant" "misuse" of "air quotes."

it's gonna be awesome... i mean awful.

posted by erica @ 4:27 PM 0 comments

dove shack

my dark chocolate dove promise: "it's definitely a bubble bath day."

i'm sure the guy who wrote that message just for me didn't take into account the fact that my bathtub is currently covered in black garbage bags haphazardly duct taped to the walls because after attempting to recaulk the tiles, our super awesome super wants to first "fix a leak." pssst - it's in his head.

and in other news, happy birthday donald trump. go buy yourself another building and let me live in it.

posted by erica @ 3:34 PM 2 comments

'tis only a flesh wound

watch out now

i think i'm going to start wearing chainmail.


[chainfemail] i would not be surprised if i saw chloe sevigny wearing this


[chainmo] totally digging the 3/4 length sleeve action

and then there's this... it's both sad and inspiring. but mostly sad. he looks like he needs a hug.

posted by erica @ 12:51 PM 0 comments

temptation island

what's with the cute interns? the multimedia department has hired 2 for the summer. one's named eric and then other i didn't catch because i was too busy gawking at him. i shall call him hey-you-come-here-and-give-me-a-back-massage. yes, that is what i will do.

posted by erica @ 10:25 AM 0 comments

sweet lord make it stop

all talking toys must be relegated to daycare centers and crack houses. i'm talking about those dancing hamsters, singing fish, meowing cat puppets and perhaps the most egregious (and currently befouling) of them all, the hokey pokey elmo doll. sure, it's a great gift for a child with deaf parents, but these things should not be brought into an office environment.

the department hamburglar (note: t-rex arms, sedated grin, penchant for oversized ties), who normally walks around talking to herself, inanimate objects and people unfortunate enough to accidentally make eye contact, must be on her ludes today because she's definitely more psychotic than usual. today she went into my boss's office to talk to her orchids. it wasn't really a "yo, whaddup g?" as much as it was a "hi. how are you? did you have a good weekend? oh that's good to hear. mine was absolutely fabulous. lot's of recreational drugs." oh and the nonsensically humming... all day. and the final straw was a double helping of the hokey pokey elmo. yes, twice. she made it sing twice. she bopped her crazy little pinhead alongside an elmo doll singing the hokey pokey song twice. did i mention that it happened twice?

excuse me, i must find a dark corner to curl up into a ball and rock back and forth.


[elmo] drops it like it's hot

posted by erica @ 4:52 PM 0 comments

no more teachers' dirty looks

it's imperative that media outlets truly understand their demographic. so in order to capture the real orange county consumer, the oc register has launched animated political cartoons on their website. finally, they admit defeat to the fact that the oc doesn't read.

posted by erica @ 11:19 AM 0 comments

epynomous

super to regrout the bathtub today
not one, not two, but 4 cute boys on the uptown N
(one of whom works in my building)
leftover red velvet cupcakes in the fridge
a huge jar of pistachios as a thank you gift
gmat class reimbursement check
the sweet return of half day fridays
creepy roommate moving out in august

...lucky indeed.

now something bad is going to happen. i can feel it.

posted by erica @ 12:41 PM 1 comments

dial m

even though i by far favor the vibrate setting (and not because of that), i'm not wholly against music ringtones. however, my creepy roommate has had the same effin ringtone for the last 8 months - "don't cha" by the pussy cat dolls. this problem is compounded by the fact that she consistently leaves her phone in the living room, so it takes her almost a minute to get to it. on average she gets about 5-6 calls everynight... mostly from her boyfriend, which is ironic considering the lyrics.

so you can understand when i plead insanity.

posted by erica @ 10:18 AM 0 comments

i've been burgled

somebody ate my sandwich from the fridge today. somebody ate my low sodium turkey on double fiber bread sandwich. little do they know that i spread the mustard on with my fingers. ha!

despite my retroactive statement of revenge, i'm still the one who's hungry. damn. i lose again.

posted by erica @ 3:07 PM 0 comments