i've been meaning to share this one for a while but keep forgetting...
i like soho. i don't love it (mostly because all i can afford is street jewelry and ben's pizza). however, this is just ridiculous - the old tennessee mountain bbq joint is turning into a ... (drumroll please) ... crocs store. you know
crocs... those ugly-ass rubber clogs that don the likes of mario batali and midwest stay-at-home moms are soon going to infiltrate the land of high-end fashion. it's across the street from chanel. i'm surprised mr. lagerfeld allowed that to even happen.
seriously? crocs? seriously?
i did a little research... from the crocs website: "reasons you gotta have 'em"
1. nothing's softer and more comfortable... big advertising blunder - don't use superlatives unless scientifically proven. i.e. "nobody doesn't like sara lee" - i'm sure i can find one.
2. big air ventilation points... so everyone can smell the rankness of what happens when your bare feet make love to rubber in 90 degree weather. delish.
3. resists bacteria... except the ones that can get through the "big air ventilation points."
4. friendly italian styling... i'll take those words two at a time, but i'll never associate any of them with crocs. unless it's "friendly italian pasta pusher, mario batali, wears crocs" or "styling your college roommate's deep south weddin' with white crocs to match the taffeta monstrosity she calls a gown."
5. you won't slip off your boat... i'll just push you off for bringing those stupid-ugly shoes on board.
6. others love them too... just save yourself the 30 bucks and go jump off a bridge. i hear others are doing that too...
in other neighborhood news, gold bar - a new swank joint from the better-than-thous who served you cain on a snow white mirror will soon be gracing my neighborhood with velvet ropes, bentleys and attitude. can't. hardly. wait.
holy bajeeeezaaaahhh
rambo called - he wants his right arm back. he also mentioned something about congratulations on the big win. and then brought up the arm thing again.
quote of the day
"damn those lychee martinis. i woke up in brooklyn and shannon woke up in the tribeca grand."
--megs (the champ)
hahahahaha. awesome.
come again? better yet, don't.
5 minutes ago...new girl: "what do you call these really fancy squeezy paper clips?"
me: "binder clips."
new girl: "really?"
me: "
really."
10 minutes ago...new girl: "so i think i have a problem... i just rented a van that seats 7 people but then i counted 8 on the list to go and now i don't know what to do." (referring to sending a group of 8 tekkies to an off-site)
me: "maybe you should change the reservation to 2 cars that each hold 4."
new girl: "well, maybe one of the guys can just ride on another guy's lap. i don't really want to call them again."
me: "that's probably not the best idea."
new girl: "well, a girl can dream."
me: "that's nice."
1 hour ago...new girl: "the diet coke machine is broken. i'm soooo sad."
me: "..."
new girl: "huh?"
me: "nothing."
be like me
and
waste your life.
the new girl
i know you're saying "it's always the same with you, jade. complain, complain."
well, then this will be nothing new...
she's driving me crazy. ok, let me backtrack a bit... i got a pro/demotion (aka better title, worse pay) a couple months ago and just this past month was able to hire a full-time replacement for my old job. she's great on paper and quite charming in person. and she's from california. the only problem is that she's a loud one. those of you who know me will say, "yes, but you're a loud one and we put up with it, sorta." trust me, this is different. sure it's loud, but add on a large side of ditzy. and then top it off with heavy helping up uptalking. the fact that my new office is about 10 feet away from my old desk gives me the privilege of hearing her repeatedly asking inane questions (akin to "why male models"). or maybe they're statements... i can't tell with all the uptalking... grrr.
darling you give my old job a bad name.
