shame is so in this season

web md... the hypochondriac bible

bad things happen when you have a high speed connection and too much time on your hands. today's example:

i go to web md to search for symptom's of lactose intolerance. why, you may ask? let's just say that my stomach isn't agreeing with the venti-riffic latte i had with post 3 servings of cheerios this morning. anyway, i get to the symptoms page and convince myself that indeed i am lactose intolerant. but wait, it could be something else. something like irritable bowel syndrome. click.

great. so now my colon is cranky. and it's ruining my life. so are my symptons in line with this disease of unknown causes and no clear treatment? female... check. teen through 40 age range... check. food sensitivity - well, seeing as how i am now lactose intolerant... check. eating while doing a stressful activity such as working in front of a computer (re: left hand typing, right hand shoving a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into my mouth)... check. emotional trouble, such as a psychiatric disorder... auugh! now i have a psychiatric disorder? (that could explain a lot)

ok calm down. maybe it's not ibs. go back to other alternatives from the lactose intolerance page. click. inflammatory bowel disease - let's see if this road doesn't take me to the crazy house... ulcerative colitis. crohn's. joint pain. skin rashes. intestinal blockage. kidney stones. liver disease. cancer. death.

yeah. i'm totally calm now.

maybe i should just stop drinking milk.


[web md] earnings, or my ekg?

posted by erica @ 6:02 PM