shame is so in this season

but then i got high

so i come home last night around 11pm to find my roommate crazy on ambien. if you're not familiar with this prescription sleep aid, it makes you totally kevin spacey for about 30 minutes before you crash.

so seconds after i get in the door, she comes stumbling up to me, hands me a jar of curry and says, "heeeeyyyyy... look at this curry." and then whispers, "do you think i should make it?"

i, being the somewhat saner of the two, say "um, no."

to which she retorts, "really? but i just bought all this chicken!" (actually pronounced "schickhen").

so despite my attempts to rationalize away the curry, she starts to make it. just to make sure she didn't pass out on the stove, i sit in the kitchen and pretend to read the rolling stone while she bangs things around for the next 20 minutes. first, the chicken goes into the pan. then comes the olive oil, salt, pepper and curry. after about 10 minutes, the epiphanies come rolling in.

"eggplant?" she asks me.

"takes too long to cook," i say, not wanting to see her cut her finger off while trying to dice the beast of an aubergine that has been sitting in the fridge for over a month.

"carrots? raisins? how 'bout this red pepper?" she slurs out.

"yeah sure," i answer, with very. obvious. hesitance.

she doesn't take the hint. half a bag of baby carrots, two handfuls of raisins and a pre-cut (thank god) red bell pepper go into the mix. at this point she's leaning on the counter, staring intently into the curry concoction (that's now becoming more of a tagine). note: i have been following her around, closing the refridgerator door, putting things away, making sure she doesn't run into any corners, etc.

i walk away for a minute to brush my teeth (an excuse not have to taste it when she's done) and come back to find her trying to cut the pieces of chicken still in the pan. i actually could hear the lovely metal on metal sound over my electric toothbrush. i wanted to yell at her but she looked so peaceful, running the knife back and forth over the frickin chicken and then straight into my eardrums. (for those who know me, it wasn't just the noise - it was also the fact that she was digging into the non-stick surface of the pan, and thus destroying it).

and then the ambien told her she was done. she turns the burner off, looks at me, says "goodnight", walks into her room and shuts the door.

12:05am - i cover the curry with foil. d.o.a.

posted by erica @ 11:22 AM