shame is so in this season

i ate a bug

last night i decided to stay in, play loud music, sing and dance around in my underwear and clean my room. as i'm putting my purses back on their hooks, i find a couple of reese's mini peanut butter cups. "jackpot!" i think to myself. i open the first one and see that the top is a little scraped, but i think nothing of it and pop it in my mouth. perhaps it was just because it was smashed in my purse or something. then i open the next one. i'm about to wipe off what i thought was a piece of foil on the top but then immediately drop the piece of peanutbuttery/chocolatey goodness because the "foil" started moving. i inspect it more closely and see that it was (to my horror and revulsion) a little baby bug. and it's little baby buggy friend. yeah, uh huh. two incredibly disgusting little baby maggotty bugs that were eating the chocolate, leaving little buggy scrape marks. which means i probably just ate their friend(s). (i'm shuddering right now just thinking about it). i don't like bugs. i certainly don't like eating bugs. so i scream. i hyperventilate a little. i run to the toilet and stick my finger down my throat. then i took three shots of whiskey, brushed my teeth and immediately went to bed.

this is a problem though, because now i'm quite torn on the topic of chocolate.

posted by erica @ 1:08 PM