dis
as in disgusting.so on my way out of my apt earlier i stopped to fix the strap on my right shoe. no sooner than reaching full ben-dover position, a big fat cockroach scampers across my left foot, sending me into extreme freakout mode. except i'm still very much bent over. so in addition to the immediate need to burn off my left foot, i'm hopping on my right foot--in heels, mind you-- hands still intent on fiddling with the buckle because apparently they didn't get the urgent memo of "hey, keep your balance, you idiot." let's just say that the end result was a gallon less than graceful.
with a full night ahead of me, i had to pull a mariah carey and shake it off. so i make it to the subway, more weary of the sidewalk than ever, and get there just as the 6 train pulls away from spring. usually when that happens, i'm just a little pissed at myself and the first thing that runs through my mind is what could i have done earlier to shave off 15 seconds so i could have made the train (this time it was obvious). but the point is (barring it wasn't because of some inept tourist sauntering down the stairs) i quickly get over it. the guy behind me, however, must be the king of grudge holders. as soon as the screeching of the train was beyond earshot, he turns to his wife/girlfriend/verbally masochistic significant other and says, "why are you such a lazy cow? you're so f*ckin slow! you... lazy cow! we could've made the train! gaddammitt!!" um yeah... and no, they really couldn't havemade it, as they were at least 10 paces behind me (before the turnstile) and unless they both happen to be olympic hurdlers, it was physically impossible.
so then we wait. they sit down at the same bench as me. no, actually, she sits down and he paces back and forth in front of her, mumbling something about the next train not getting there for another hour (not true) and how she's a fat cow (also, not true) and how much she owes him when they get home (yeah, a knuckle sandwich or perhaps a nice arsenic cocktail). he paces back and forth, taking just four or five steps before abruptly turning around to go the other way. it really annoyed the hell out of me. i don't know how this chick was taking it so calmly. she takes some candy out of her bag and begins to unwrap it until he violently snatches it away from her, pops it into his mouth and continues pacing. she gets another piece for herself in total silence. at this point, i wanted to say something, but alas, my brain was still in shock from the roach.
the lights of the next 6 train gives us the heads up (about 5 minutes later - not 60, as erroniously stated earlier by signore jackass), and he says, no, screams to her "get your ass up! stop being so f*ckin slow!" then he pulls her by the arm to the edge of the platform (the train hasn't even fully pulled in yet). i swear it was all i could do from pushing him onto the tracks. it was just. so. disgusting.
ugh.
posted by erica @ 2:30 AM
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