i'm a bitch.
not a lover nor angel undercover. just bitch.preface: my roommate and her friends came home from a bachelorette party pretty late last night. five ex-wellesley girls. five really drunk ex-wellesley girls. one in particular was terribly drunk, terribly naked and terribly shouting. so between that and my 7am charlie horse in my right calf wake up call, i'm a little bit cranky this morning.
walking up the stairs in the times square station, i see a girl with a moderate case of cankles. the very first thing that came into my mind was "thank god i have regular ankles." and it wasn't like she was a clydesdale or anything remotely close to elephantitis, but it was just enough to notice and apparently just enough for my inner bitch to let loose.
then, as i was walking down the street i see an upper middle aged man walking towards me. but something was off about him. i squinted through the morning haze and my focused gaze revealed that it was a beard... growing out of the middle of his neck. it wasn't missed by a lazy shave, nor was it gravity defying chest hair - it was a full on, no doubts about it, purposefully grown for at least a year (three plus inches) neck beard. so what else could i do but avert my eyes and scream in revulsion. ok so the latter only happened in my head. apparently the neck beard is not an uncommon phenomenon (my google search for a suitable image to post led me to this site which touts the neck beard as "THE beard of the twenty-first century" and one that will "exude confidence and authority." and without further adieu, here is the picture:
[neck beard] uncool with and without sunglasses. just. plain. ew.
posted by erica @ 10:10 AM
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