inexplicable fears
my friend chelsea has an inexplicable fear of sidewalk performers. i thought that was pretty funny. perhaps you will find my inexplicable fears funny as well. here's my top ten*:1. movies with talking babies
2. balloon animals
3. really long sideburns
4. animals dressed up like other (different) animals
5. skinny knees (think about it - it's the only think holding together your femur with your tibia and fibula. and your femur essentially props up the rest of your body. one swift kick and you could end up faceplanting the concrete covered in shattered glass and dirty hypodermic needles)
5.5. shattered glass and dirty hypodermic needles
6. really cold hands
7. noisy eaters
8. that i won't think that i'll hurt myself and actually do something that will hurt myself (i.e. jump off a roof)
9. vomit
10. this
[shudder]
*note: i fear many(many) other things - these are just the ones that you may gain pleasure just from knowing and most likely use them against me in the near future.
posted by erica @ 11:48 PM
2 Comments:
Clarification: I do not fear steet performers. I fear restaurant performers: people who approach your table unbidden and want to sing, do magic tricks, sell flowers, recount poetry, play mariachi music, or whatever.
If I want a floor show, I go to a dinner theatre. Otherwise, I count on my companions' frank and open discussion of their sex lives and my artichokes to entertain me.
The octodog thing is bizarre as hell.
I'm with CG on the restaurant performers. Worst? The Happy Birthday song. *shudders* How wretched, for anyone over 10.
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