another one bites the dust
--actually, my leg. for a grand total of 7 ill-placed mosquito bites. i know that's not a lot (compared to the one time in malaysia where i was graced with a little over 50 bites) but i'm indoors for 95% of the day. those crafty sons of beeyotches. i honestly think they're getting smarter. they must confer with each other as to which spot on the human body is the absolute worst place to have a bite. so here are my top five suckiest places for a mosquito bite (and yes, pun very much intended):1. the exact spot in the middle of your back that without double jointedness or gymnastlike flexibility is physically impossible to reach - i'm currently sporting this lovely mofo. this one's fun because you have to rely on other people or objects in order to satisfy the itch. i'm a personal fan of the covert rub on the back of my chair. yeah ok, it's less covert when i'm obscenely cursing all mosquitos and the spiteful God that put them on this earth while writhing uncontrollably like an epileptic under a strobe light, but that was just that one time.
2. the bottom of your foot. if it's on top or in the arch or near the side you can use a pen and shove it in your shoe repeatedly but if it's bottom you're doomed to doing impromptu hoe-downs in the middle of the office.
3. anywhere on your face. because, let's face it, we're all superficial and bites on the face look like giant living breathing beginning of an entire ecosystem pimples. that's right class, pimples are ugly.
4. back of the knees. for the same reason that it sucks to be sunburt there - it's sensitive and it's always in motion.
5. the palm. and since scratching just aggrevates it even more, the only way to quell the itch is to smack something. or someone. just make sure it's not a cop.
and now that you've read this and really have thought about it, aren't you a little itchy? perhaps on your shoulder or your right leg? what's that? psychosomatosis? i'm sorry.
truly, i am.
posted by erica @ 10:18 AM
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