tourist groups can eat my ass
i hate times square. what's the appeal? you can't go into any of the buildings (not like you'd want to anyway). it's not an architectural marvel. there's no art anywhere (unless of course if you count the artistic integrity of the pensive models gracing the hundreds of billboards plastered over every last square inch of surface area). you like the bright lights you say? the money that could be saved on electricity could probably end hunger in a third world country. you like those lights now? furthermore, the stores are subpar and the restaurants are mediocre at best. if you're going to the theatre then enjoy your little show and then get the hell out of there.here are some more tourist tips: don't stand in the middle of the sidewalk trying to take a picture of a cop on a horse. i'm sure they have cops and horses in the midwest. go home and use photoshop. don't walk and suddenly stop to buy a pack of gum at the kiosk 50 feet back. don't linger on the street corners at a red light. some of us like to jaywalk. don't just stand there and look up - everyone else (not from new york) will also look up to see what you're looking at (which was probably just a bright light in the sky - we like to call them airplanes), thus creating worse gridlock than the tunnel on a friday. don't buy purses from blanket vendors - they're crap. don't give money to the uho people - most of it goes to their own salary. don't buy an i heart ny shirt and then wear it - you're asking to get mugged (or punched). don't ask for directions for more than 1 destination (get there, then ask someone else). don't hold hands walking down staircases (pda's and public transportation are mutually exclusive). don't complain about new york prices. don't pout when you can't get a taxi. don't get mad when people bump into you. the same rule applies: when in rome...
ask anyone and they'll tell you the same.
ugh. it gets worse in the summer. i can't wait. hey you tourist! here's a spoon.
posted by erica @ 5:26 PM
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